I’ve been thinking about this project a lot lately – mostly out of guilt because it has been laying nearly dormant for quite a while now – and I know that it’s time to get back to the work at hand. I won’t bore you with the gory details of my hiatus, just suffice it to say that I’ve made some pretty big changes to my life and lifestyle in the last few years, and those changes have really monopolized my time and attention – in a good way. However, this morning, one of my daughters jolted me to action: she had posted a thread on Reddit about my Adoption Reunion and sent me the link so that I could reply to some of the questions. One of them really hit a chord with me:
Has the reconnection (with her birth family) caused any major changes mentally to your mom or grandma?
Honestly, it changed everything for me, in ways I never could have imagined. Every Thing. Clear down to my core self-image. I like who I am now. It sounds so silly, but that’s a big deal – to like the person you are, and not need other people to validate you, your abilities or your choices constantly. It made me so much more confident, and clear about who I am and what I want in this life. It’s been 7 years now since my reunion, and in that time, I’ve gained the courage to make some huge, critical changes in my own life. My daughter (who posted this thread) probably doesn’t even know how profoundly my reunion affected me, and consequently her and her sisters. I’m writing a book – working title is Little Circles.
There’s a lot more to my answer than that, but that’s the nutshell version. I know that it took me a number of years to be able to see the changes my reunion made to me, and likely I will continue to see changes as time goes on. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has had this experience either, so I thought it would be good to pose the question here:
How has your reunion with your birth-mother/family changed you?